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U and I

U and I, a skit for two speaking clowns

A skit for two speaking clowns, by professional clown Steve Conley

Clown 1: Tell me, sir, how does one get to heaven?

Clown 2: One? One is a number. It would be impossible for one to get to heaven. Only you can.

Clown 1: U is a letter.

Clown 2: No I’m mailing a letter.

Clown 1: What letter “are you” mailing?

Clown 2: R U’s not, I

Clown 1: I?

Clown 2: No, A.

Clown 1: I said I.

Clown 2: NO, A! I didn’t say anything.

Clown 1: O.

Clown 2: Not O, A

Clown 1: I C

Clown 2: NO, A!

Clown 1: O K!

Clown 2: Not O or K but A (pulls out the letter A from an envelope)

Clown 1: What about my question. How about one getting into heaven?

Clown 2: Like I said, one can’t do it.

Clown 1: I said that?

Clown 2: Only you can.

Clown 1: U can’t do it either!

Clown 2: I never said I could.

Clown 1: Of course I didn’t. U and I just can’t agree on anything!

Clown 2: No they can’t.

Clown 1: How does a clown get to heaven in all of this mess.

Clown 2: Oh, that’s easy. Admit that you are a sinner. Believe that Jesus died in your sins, was buried, and risen. Accept Him as your Lord and Savior. Receive forgiveness for all of your sins and His gift of eternal salvation by faith. (pause) It’s only when U and I get involved that things get hard to understand.

(Clown 1 turns slowly and looks at Clown 2)

Copyright 2002 by Steve Conley. Performing rights only.


Tom Raymond, aka. Raynbow the Clown, has been a professional clown and balloon twister for over 15 years, and runs several clown-related websites such as Famous Clowns, Best Clean Funny Jokes

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