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Ticket to Heaven

Ticket to Heaven, a clown skit for 2 speaking clowns, presenting the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Original by Raynbow D. Clown

(requires 2 clowns, or perhaps 1 and a ‘normal’ person in angel costume)

Clown 1: Last night, I had the strangest dream! It went sort of like this…

(Clown 2 moves on-stage — has a halo (possibly made of balloon animals), wings, etc. — an angelic clown)

Clown 1: I dreamed that I had died, and I was outside of the gates of Heaven. I approached the angel who stood before the gate… (walks toward Clown 2)

Clown 1: Hi! I’m ! I’m here to go into Heaven!

Clown 2: Very good! Where’s your ticket?

Clown 1: (looking worried) Ticket? Ticket… it must be here somewhere (starts digging through his pockets, pulling out balloons, rubber chickens, long string of handkerchiefs, etc. — customize to your clown & use your imagination! finally pulls out a piece of paper) Aha! I knew I had one somewhere! Here you go! (hands it to Clown 2)

Clown 2: (frowning) Hmmm…. this says that you’re a nice clown… (hands it back) Sorry, that won’t get you into Heaven.

Clown 1: (slightly frantic, starts digging through pockets some more) No problem, I’m sure I have the right ticket here somewhere (more of the same shenanigans as before — finally pulls out another ticket) Here we go! (hands it to Clown 2)

Clown 2: (begins reading over the ticket, possibly adjusting his glasses if he wears any) Let’s see — it says you go to church every Sunday, say your prayers, give your money to God, love your neighbor, aaaand (drawn out — turning the ticket over) even rescued a kitten from a tree! (Clown 1 beams with pride — probably mugs at the audience. Clown 2 then looks sad and hands the ticket back) — well, those are all good things, but none of them will get you into Heaven.

Clown 1: Not even the kitten?

Clown 2: Not even the kitten — sorry.

Clown 1: (starts digging extremely frantically this time, finding nothing) This can’t be right! I don’t have anything left! Nothing! All I’ve got left is Jesus!

Clown 2: (perking up at that Name) What’s that? What’s all you’ve got left?

Clown 1: Jesus! He died on the cross to take away my sins, and He rose from the dead to prove that they were gone, and He said that He’d be with me always… so, even though I don’t have anything else left (looks woefully at his empty pockets — pulled out for everyone to see) I still have Jesus…

Clown 2: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place? Come on in!

Clown 1: (smiling as well) Just a minute! I’ve got to pick up all my stuff!

About

Tom Raymond, aka. Raynbow the Clown, has been a professional clown and balloon twister for over 15 years, and runs several clown-related websites such as Famous Clowns, Best Clean Funny Jokes

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