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Milking a Cow

Abbott and Costello’s milking a cow routine, done in the movie Ride ’em Cowboy as well as on television in the Colgate Comedy Hour TV series — where Lou misunderstand “udder” vs “other”

Bud Abbott: Do you know how to milk a cow?

Lou Costello: Do I know how to milk a cow?

Bud Abbott: Do you?

Lou Costello: Milk a cow? Well, you get him to sit down and…uh…how do you milk a cow?

Bud Abbott: You don’t know how to milk a cow?

Milk a cow - Lou Costello and Bud AbbottLou Costello: No.

Bud Abbott: You start from the back.

Lou Costello: From the back? [Tries climbing on the cows back and the cow starts to walk away] Whoa, boy!

Bud Abbott: [correcting Lou] Whoa, Betsy.

Lou Costello: WHOA BETSY! Whatever your name is.

Bud Abbott: You see, you take the bucket and put it under the cow’s udder.

Lou Costello: The cow’s other what?

Bud Abbott: Not other what. The cow’s udder.

Lou Costello: I take the bucket and i put it where?

Bud Abbott: Under the cow’s udder.

Lou Costello: The cow’s other what? You have to put it under the cow’s other something.

Bud Abbott: Not other something.

Lou Costello: You can’t put under the cow’s other nothing.

Bud Abbott: Not other nothing. The cow’s udder.

Lou Costello: [getting exasperated] THE COW’S OTHER WHAT?

Bud Abbott: Not other what. You go directly to the source.

Lou Costello: Huh?

Bud Abbott: You go right to the source.

Lou Costello: Who’s talking about sauce? I want milk. You want sauce? I’ll pick apples and make applesauce.

Bud Abbott: No, No. You go right to the source. The cow’s tanks.

Lou Costello: What?

Bud Abbott: Tanks.

Lou Costello: You’re welcome.

About

Tom Raymond, aka. Raynbow the Clown, has been a professional clown and balloon twister for over 15 years, and runs several clown-related websites such as Famous Clowns, Best Clean Funny Jokes

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